Only In The Philippines- copied ()

Along a highway in Pampanga: "WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"
On a self-service restaurant in Cebu: "PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN"
In a Baguio grocery: "FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"
In Cubao: "NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"
Along Luneta Boulevard: "BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"
On Jeepney and Bus signs: "BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"
On a flower shop in Rizal Avenue: "WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS"
On a delivery truck: "NOT FOR HERE"
On window of a restaurant in Baguio: "WANTED: BOY WAITRESS"
On a street in San Juan: "BAWAL MAGTAPON NG BINALOT NA TAE RITO"
A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university: "PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."
At a men's comfort room, above a urinal: (maybe from UP Diliman dorm): "HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN!"
At a construction site in Mandaluyong: "BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"
Somewhere along San Andres: "NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS!"
Vacant lot near Makati Avenue: "DON'T PARKING!!!"
At an eatery in Cebu: "WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!"
Sa pader ng Intramuros: "MARUNONG K BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMI-IHI DITO!"
On a building somewhere in the Philippines: "NOTARY PUBLIC, TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO."

*****

Pinoy Na Pintor
Matagal nang naghahanap ng trabaho yung bagong saltang Pinoy. Nakakita siya ng posibilidad sa "Help Wanted" section ng Classified Ads.

"Wanted - Painter of Porch". Aba!, sabi nung Pinoy sa sarili... OK ito! Sa Pilipinas, e marami na akong pininta; yung libingan ng lolo ko, yung pader ng lumang bahay namin, yung kulungan ng mga baboy ng tiyo ko - pwede palagay ko ako rito!

In-explain nung Kano na nangangailangan ng pintor: "I need to have my porch painted, all in one day. The work involves scraping all the paint up to the bare surface, applying a coat of primer and two final coats of orange paint. Can you do this?" Sagot nung Pinoy nung ininterbyu siya ng Kano... "Sir, yes sir. I can kaskas... I mean, remoob paint en apply paint beri well." "Okay!", sabi nung Kano. "You've got the job! Everything you'll need has been unloaded from the trunk of the car."

Tatlong oras pa lang, narining na nung Kano na kumakatok yung Pinoy sa pinto niya. "Sir... Pinis oreydi". "Wow!" sabi nung Kano. "You finished the job in three hours.

Are you sure you scraped the old paint to the bare surface?" "Sir, yes sir.

I tanggalated all the old paint." sagot nung Pinoy. "Then, you deserve a bonus! Here's another 20 bucks." sabi nung Kano. "Sir, tenkyu sir." wika nung Pinoy. "Pero sir, you don't heb a porch... your car is a BMW..."

*****

Stool Specimen Check-up
Doc to old patient: I need sample of your urine, stool semen.
Old man to wife: Ano daw ang kailangan niya?
Wife: Ibigay mo na lang ang brief mo!

*****

Brain Surgery
Sa isang ospital, pagkatapos ng operasyon
Pasyente: Dok, bakit ganito ang operasyon sa ulo? Halos kita na ang utak ko.
Dok: Okey iyan. At least, open-minded ka na ngayon.

*****

Faith Healer
Old man: Can you give me an e-rection?
Faith Healer: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the "dead".

*****

Airport Canteen

Sa airport canteen, umorder ang isang Amerikano
Kano: Miss, will you please give me one few two?
Tindera: What, sir?
Kano: I said one few two.?
Tindera: Oh, puto!
Kano: Yeah, that's right!
(Sa loob-loob ng tindera, tangna! Puto lang, pino-few two few two pa!
Gagantihan ko siya!?
Tindera: Okey, sir? what color do you want? few la? or few ti?

*****

Fried Eggs
Waitress: How do you want your EGGS done, Sir?
American: I want my eggs fried.
Japanese: I want it boiled.
Pinoy: Ala eh! Sa kin, hawakan mo na lang, masarap na yaan!

*****

Learn Japanese

1) Is this your underwear? Jakimoto?
2) Are you regular customer? Sukikaba?

*****

Farting Etiquette

Q: What does an American say when he farts?
A: Excuse me

Q: British?
A: Pardon me

Q: Canadian?
A: Pardon moi, eh

Q: Pinoy?
A: Not me!

*****

Question: Ano ang similarity ng UTOT at TULA?
Answer : Pareho silang nagmula sa POET!

*****

Birthday Present

Man: I want a birthday present for my wife.
Saleslady: How long have you been married sir?
Man: 22 years!
Saleslady: Bargain basement is on the left.










I just wanna share this one to you. Ive read this to other blogs

MELISSA IS BACK (tomorrow)

WEIRD MELISSA is a quotation freak.

Her favorite,however, is a gift from a
friend. It is a quotation done in cross
stitch with a beautiful butterfly in
the background.

It says:

If you love someone

Set her free

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t, she�s never was.

Now, I have to ask the friend to
cross stitich for me the new versions
that another friend e-mailed me
some 3 months ago, that I find very
helpful these days in finding the
right decisions with other people’s
concerns in mind.

Pessimist:

If you love someone

Set her free

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t, as expected, she
never was.

Optimist:

If you love someone

Set her free�

Do not worry, she will come back.

Suspicious

If you love someone

Set her free�

If she comes back, ask her why.

If you love someone

Set her free�

But get someone to follow her.

If you love someone

Do you really love that someone.

Go-getter

Set her free�

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t, go get her.

Hunter

Set her free�

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t, go hunt her down.

Impatient

Set her free�

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t come back within
some time, forget her.

Patient

Set her free�

If she comes back, she’s yours,

If she doesn�t, continue to wait
until she comes back.

Possessive

Set her free�NEVER

Animal rights activist

Set her free,

In fact all living creatures deserve
to be free.

Paranoid

When you let her go, she will be out
to get you.

Swarzenegger�s fans

Set her free,

SHE WILL BE BACK

Pathetic

Set her free�

If she comes back,okay,

If she doesn�t how could she.

Sore Loser

Set her free�

If she comes back; dump her,

If she doesn�t, make up bad stories
about her.

weird melissa is a fan of that
actor whose name is difficult to spell.

:)

Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.

Henry David Thoreau

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back..
Some people are just not meant to be in your life,
no matter how much you want them to be..

You hug him goodbye like its nothing..
While all you want to do is hold on forever. .

I used to smile when I told people that you were mine. (Ang mga masukO: peace! Dili naman pud mi uyab ana)

But now, I cant even smile and say your name at the same time..

As much as I love you , I have to say goodbye...

Cause I know you would be happier ,If I let you go..

Im sorry if I made you cry.

Im sorry if tears fell from your eyes (KUNG)>

But remember, for every tear that fell from your eyes,
Two fell from mine.!

Missing you isn't the hardest part .
Knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart.

Ill never forget the times we once shared.

And ill always remember how much you once cared.



Now its over. Its time to move on..

Its never easy to see you turning back, but I have to take the pain..

and cry all the way home cause I know it will never be the same..


I know when you leave, ..

DistaNCE will keep us apart.


But DISTANCE no matter how far, Can't change these feelings in my heart.

Just turn your head when you see me,

I will understand....



One day, I will be able to look in the eye..

without feeling the pain

Ive caused you. ..

I hope in time ,
you will be happy as you will call my name, once again..


HAPPINESS is too far for us now ..

But even if it's near, I know it will be hard for us to get there..

part,

it's never gonna work out. . .


I LOVE YOU GOODBYE!. :|

....

My head rest on my pillow, i let the tears flow and ask myself, "Why Cant't i let go?.

I know I have said goodbye so many times before, but all roads lead me back to you.

but now, as i say this goodbye, I have this feeling that i will never see you again.

honestly, i dont wanna cross your path in the future, coz I dont want all these feelings to come back and hurt me once again.

i know I cant let go off my feelings but I have to let you go.

Sorry! if it took me this long to let you go.. i still love you and I probably will love you for a very long time.

but somehow I know, i have to move on and to get over with you.

Like what they say, We cant forget someone we loved, we may want to but we can't..

Love cannot be forgotten, no matter how hard we try and how much we think it will ease the pain.

It will always be there forever. maybe fate will smile upon us and well see each other again.

hanging ending : Hot Shot

I really dont like the ending of hot shot.
If ull see it then surely you will tell - is that all??

after spending many nights to this movie- The ending is not that nice after all.

It ended on a positive note. So I would say this is a satisfying episode. It doesn’t always has to end with the happily-ever-after. That’s just life. I’m glad that the writers decided to center around the theme of friendship and bring back the basketball games in the last episode to remind us why we watched Hot Shot in the first place.

hahay. The drama ended in a symbolic yet poetic way.

W is doomed to die, but her death is artfully done, both diverging from the typical terminal illness cliché and conveying the message that: we should all try to find something worthy of our time and if we are lucky enough to find it, we should not anyone discourage us from investing 100% into it.

im to disappointed. I dont like the ending gyuddddddd

Camping

Just got back home from Mantigue island.
we stayed there for almost 3days , and you know i get bURNed. :(

Im with the Sk ChairmAnSSSS in different municipalities.

We are attending the FIRST ever Camiguin Coastal Resource Management with the resource speakers, facilitators, from Silliman University- one of the most famous university in the Philippines.

Its too hot there. Lots of mosquitos,insects who will gonna bite and kiss you lol.
Theres no water. No current only morons.
But you knOw, it is an undiscovered spot in Camiguin.

Im enjoying staying there. We slept in the white sand and its too nice.So nice. Its the best specially when you are having a vacation with your loved one, family and friends.

3 days in staying there- I have learned a lot of it.
First is , I kn0w already whats the endemic species in Mantigue ISland so as their scientific names.
And im amazingly spectaculated to know that Manitigue Island has its coral reefs to.

Lastly, Camiguin Island is on their way to progress. With the help of us, NZAID, DENR- we are able to develop this tourist spot in the world.

I once asked MR. MARX Iturralde the teacher of SU.
He told us, that he has been into different places but all he can telll is Mantigue Island is the best if it would be compare to boracay in Cebu.


With its crystal clear waters, verdant lush trees, and with lots of different marine life.
Mantigue Island is soon to be discovered!!!

:)

Now, me with my co YeS.o aDvoc and with the sk chairman in Catarman-- we are trying to make an action plan ,like on how to preserve the natural resources in Camiguin.
Were planning to make Catarman too- a plastic free municipality.
Were putting soon trash cans in every corner (lol) in the community so that Catarmanons and those tourists can easily throw their garbages in the trash cans rather everywhere.
Nevertheless, we can attain a plastic free Catarman, if people will not cooperate. they must have to do with their part. They must have their self-discipline in onesElf in order to attain the ENVIRONMENT+PLASTIC FREE= CATARMAN.

If other municipality can do, why can't us?