Questions

I am completely drowned with so many questions that I don't know know if its worth asking anymore. Then I just suddenly stop, erase the other and let this single question linger in my mind. Maybe this was the root of all of this. Maybe this was my reason for this suffering.

"Why is it that Im still doubting about HIM"?

Then again a million question travel inside my head in more than 100 per second. Answers were nowhere again. Confusion is reigning in, on, and between me. Back to square one.

All my patience is sucked by the bitterness. The enthusiasm they say has long been gone and used up. Hopes are not born in this miserable body of mine. I don't believe in superman. Time is fleeing away with my life.

If anyone knows what to do in this moment please tell me. I've been suffering for a lifetime already and I'm afraid that I might not hold on for long . I need you who ever you are, whatever you are, where you are.

I need myself back.

Im almost dying


(my note in fb)

Gloomy Monday

There is something terribly wrong this day,
there is something that shouldn't be
I am out of my senses.



I hear nothing but piano pieces
striking loneliness at its every key.
I feel nothing but numbness
piercing my core.
I smell nothing but the aroma of
Death
that is tempting me.

- -

I am powerless
so I will
Live.
I feel Pain
And I can
ENDURE.

How do i define love? (Mg love sata kay valentines man)

a very very special friend asked me once:

laNg! "How do you define love?"

i answered: "simple respect and sacrifice and oh, trust too haha ngano man diay??"…

Remember that you dont love the person if you dont respect him/her nor if you dont trust him/her… sacrifice?.. that could be the best word that would describe love.. if your willing to sacrifice for that person then, you certainly love that person…

like Jesus.. He sacrificed to save us from our sin… and that is because He love us…

think of it… am i right?.. or am i right?..

so you how do you define love?

Low low low

I am starting from zero, but at least I know what I want now. And I already know what I am looking for.

I have broken up with the person I've been in relationship for 2 or 3 weeks i think because of reasons that I will no longer elaborate. It just didn't work. We just didn't click. It's true what people say sometimes, that to be able to make a relationship work, you should be of the same mental, financial, emotional, intellectual , thmp matured enough or at least, more or less on the same plane. not a sarcastic, grumpy, silly and unresonable lass.

We just had too many differences that i cant perfectly fulfill or even brings happiness and joy to him. We are so incompatible maybe so it was wisest to cut it.
I know it wasn't going somewhere good even though it makes my heart wounded!. chaarrrr

Another is that I am a bum and he said Im insecure!. I feel incompetent. I thought he can be mine forever but now it made me realize that things in life in love doesnt stay and remains forever. but I have to move on. I have to do this by myself even though its too hard for me to make the first move when i always saw him on my contacts list online. i wanted to message him but maybe hell just laugh at me thinking thatI wanted him back even though I already hurt him kuno..

I know I can move on and start something new even though Im so despondent in tomorrows hearts day!
I just need a little push. It's also sad that these times when I need a friend, I see no one because theyre too far from me. One thing is, My friends are minding their own problems, which I perfectly understand. I feel so alone. If only hes there sending even" hi", I shouldn't be feeling this. I miss him so much. (DIVAD)

I know I'll feel worse thinking about this,. but i know someday. someday I can meet the man of my dreams haha. and Ill go to UK someday to find myself and to wear my sacharrine smile hoping Ill see him personally.
I know that when Im reaching the lowest point of my life now, and there'll be catharsis.



I just feel so down right now.
'
'
'

^ my status in facebook..

m*